I’m at a loss for words. I’ve been searching for the pockets of happiness tucked into my days, which almost always inevitably involve my children, thank goodness for those three beings of light. As for everything else, I just don’t know. My heart is heavy, my stomach in knots, my brain on constant high alert. There are so many unanswered questions hovering over me, so much uncertainty. I’m trying to focus on the good, which is not always easy.

In sharing my miscarriage recovery story, I’ve noticed that I was also silent at this time exactly six months ago. Revisiting those posts has brought to the surface a lot of the gut wrenchingly raw vulnerability I experienced during those days. Has publishing them been helpful? I can’t really say, only that they are very much a part of my narrative whether they are public or private, and in the interest of reclaiming the personal blog as a medium of honest expression, I stand by my decision to reveal them.

For better or worse.